Permission to Kick Ass

Asha Rani: Finding Joy on Your Own Terms

Episode Summary

Today I'm joined by my guest Asha Rani, and this episode is full of absolute gold. Asha is an NYC-based Periodontist, Reiki Healer, Best Selling Author, Speaker, AND Dental Office Dancer (we’ll explain later). Is there anything this woman can't do? We dive into some feel-good topics including following your joy, recognizing your worth, living life on your terms, and prioritizing yourself. If you're looking for a strong dose of inspiration and positivity, you won't want to miss this one!

Episode Notes

Nothing takes the bite out of an impending root canal like busting some moves around the dental office chair, am I right? That's just one of the many ways our guest Asha spreads joy and puts a smile on people's faces. It's easy to get caught up in the fast-paced rat race, which can make taking care of yourself and pursuing your own happiness can be a challenge. In this episode, we dive into the importance of listening to your own needs and following your intuition. This episode is a must-listen!

Can’t-Miss Moments From This Episode:

This one is jam-packed full of advice. Don’t miss out - listen now!

Asha’s Bio:

Dr. Asha Rani is a practicing periodontist in NYC. She received her dental degree from the Stony Brook School of Dental Medicine in 2003 and completed her periodontal residency training at the Manhattan VA Hospital. Through her years of surgical practice it became apparent that patient care went far beyond simply diagnosis and treatment. It has become her mission to integrate wellness into dentistry and incorporate a more holistic approach to relieve patient anxiety. Asha brings her joy for dance into her practice and the simple act of dancing thirty seconds of freestyle with her patients has opened up a human connection that is rarely seen in healthcare.

In addition to private practice, she is a professor for a conscious implant training program which teaches implant surgery to dentists in the Dominican Republic. While abroad, she also volunteers her services to participate in Revive Mission, a dental mission serving the underprivileged communities in remote villages of DR.

Asha is passionate about integrating personal wellness into daily life. She lectures on mindfulness to dental students and residents who treat PTSD patients. She completed an 8 week training in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, the only approved evidence based program in the country to assist people with stress, anxiety, depression and pain. She is certified in Reiki Level 3 which is a form of alternative medicine to encourage emotional and physical healing. 

Outside of dentistry, Asha enjoys writing and in 2023 she published her first book titled, Who Is She? It is a memoir/self-help book about the journey beyond being a mother, wife, and daughter. Her book was a #1 Best Seller on Amazon in addition to ranking #1 New Release in four categories. In addition to writing, she is also a public speaker and enjoys sharing life stories. She most recently took the stage at the SPEAK Event \ in New York, and continues to speak on topics important to her. As an entrepreneur and mother of three children, she strongly believes in the importance of self care and prioritizes her daily life with a complete mind body soul approach to wellness. 


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Episode Transcription

Angie Colee (00:03):

Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show that gives you a virtual seat at the bar for the real conversations that happen between entrepreneurs. I'm interviewing all kinds of business owners from those just a few years into freelancing to CEOs, Heming nine figure companies. If you've ever worried that everyone else just seems to get it and you're missing something or messing things up, this show is for you. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and let's get to it. Hey, and welcome back to Permission to Kick Ass with me today is my new friend, Dr. Asha. Rani, say hi.

Asha Rani (00:38):


Angie Colee (00:39):

We had us a good little chat before we started recording, and I'm admiring the background and we're getting all sassy and friendly, and so, yes. But, uh, you guys may have noticed that I said, doctor, we talked about that a lot too. Tell us, doctor, what do you do,

Asha Rani (00:52):

? You know, so, you know, I had this discussion one time with somebody that if you have to introduce yourself, what would it be like if you introduced yourself without saying what your, what your profession is? Mm-hmm. , you know, so when people say, who are you? I never say, my name is Dr. Asha. Rani. Mm-hmm. . Um, it's what I do. It's not who I am. I love that frustration. What I do is during my day to earn income, I'm a dentist, . Mm-hmm. . Um, but my joy, um, within my field is connecting with PE with people. Mm-hmm. . So I'm a practicing periodontist in New York City. You know, besides my profession, there are other things that I enjoy doing. I'm a Reiki practitioner. I enjoy writing. I just published a book. Um, I just got on a stage at a speak event. So I'm beginning a public speaking, you know, I don't know if you wanna call it a career, but a joy. Mm-hmm. . So, you know, I think what I realized is there is more than one thing that we are supposed to be doing in our lifetime. Mm-hmm. . Um, we don't have to bottleneck ourself into one profession. Um, so that's where I've been learning this, this past probably year or two since Covid mm-hmm. , um, bring your joy into everything you do, and you don't know where that will lead.

Angie Colee (02:21):

Awesome. I love that so much. I, you know, and dentist's office isn't one place that I think people would normally associate with joy. Right. So many people associate that with fear and nerves. I've never really been a nervous dentist office goer. Uh, but I know that there are a lot of people who, that is like their worst fear. So I imagine that, uh, having a joyful dentist is, is awesome for them.

Asha Rani (02:46):

Well, you know, what I will say is, so I've been a dentist for 20 years mm-hmm. , um, probably about five years ago I was running into a situation where I kind of felt burnt. Like there's burnout because it's so, or, you know, and that could happen really in any profession. Yeah. You're doing the same thing every day and it becomes monotonous, um, and becomes routine and becomes a habit, and then you kind of lose the spark. So, and now when you're in the field of dentistry where even people don't have to know anything about you, just the name dentist, just walking into a dental office already triggers anxiety. Mm-hmm. . So, you know, prior to Covid, I was like, Hmm, maybe there's something else I wanted to do. And then here comes Covid. Yes. And then everything gets shut down. Dentistry is the last place, um, anyone wants to go.

Asha Rani (03:37):

Mm-hmm. . And that's when I really had to dig deep and say, oh my God, I think I might not have a career anymore. Totally. Um, but in that pause, um, I just started doing things that I enjoyed. You know, I enjoyed dancing mm-hmm. , and when dentistry opened back up and work wasn't very busy cuz patients were coming in, but not as much as before on our downtime. We just started doing dance videos at work. And one thing, one thing led to another and I started doing dance videos with the patients that were coming in . And I said, Hey, you wanna dance? You know, let's dance 30 seconds freestyle. And we would record it and I would, I would post it on my Instagram and it just took off. Um, so there was a new joy that, you know, I found in my work for myself mm-hmm. and, and patience found like, wow, what? Like, I, I just went to the dental office, like, I just felt like I don't know where I went because Right. , that's the last thing we did. 30 seconds of dancing before they left the office and they totally forgot about the dental appointment. Mm-hmm.

Angie Colee (04:44):

. Oh, that's so great. On so many levels, not least of which is, and, and it's so funny to me how often these things are like synchronous, but the last person that I recorded with, we talked about kind of this professional expectation, especially in medicine and other more like strictly controlled and regulated, lots of credentials and study. I imagine that there are a lot of folks that come up to you and be like, dentist should be more professional, original. Nah,

Asha Rani (05:10):

, you know, because, uh, the practice that I work in, in Manhattan, there are other dentists who are there mm-hmm. , um, but the patients in my room are always laughing. . Yes. And the patients in my room are, are dancing and there's, there's, there's, there's life. And so as they're walking through, the other patients are like, what's going on in that room over there? Yes. And you know what, it may not, it may not appear professional to some people, but for the patients who are in my chair, they're very happy to be there. And I'm very happy to be there too. So Right. When you can find common ground in healthcare, um, it's a win-win.

Angie Colee (05:45):

Right. And I would argue that professionalism is not the thing here. Have you helped somebody solve their problem? Have you given them a bright spot in their day? Like we were joking about that earlier too. Cuz I'm like, yes, I'm gonna be in a hoodie. I'm gonna swear a lot. We'll probably wind up at a theme park drunk at some point and I can still help you make a million dollars in your business. Like, do you, do you think I'm unprofessional now just because I said we went to Disney. I don't care , we're gonna be over here having fun. Uh, in the same thing at this. Like, the most important thing and dental health is so important and so almost like criminally underrated. And then add to that the, like the insurance problem. I know I don't need to tell you anything about this, but like, it's hard enough to get people in the office to get their teeth looked at. What if you're given 'em a reason to go and have fun? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Asha Rani (06:38):

And, and what I do is I do surgery. So that even is a situation where nobody wants to get surgery. Yes. Um, but you know, I, there is a disconnect in healthcare between doctors and patients, um mm-hmm. patients. I feel like they're not heard. They're not seen. There's no pause. It's like a rat race, a hamster wheel. Mm-hmm. . Um, and every, everybody needs to slow down a little bit and everybody needs to be, be present and be mindful and understand that there's a human being who's there. Um, it's not a dollar amount, it's a patient. It's, and you know, bedside manner means something. Yes. You know, your expertise is important, but bedside manner means something.

Angie Colee (07:20):

I love that distinction. I think that we could use that everywhere in business a little bit. Cause I know I see this, so I come from a marketing background and for there, there's kind of a weird thing that happens in my industry where folks in the early stages, they have a couple early wins and they get rope cocky and then they start going, right. But shouldn't the business owners be listening to me? After all, I am the experts and they're coming to me from marketing help cuz they don't know how to do it. And I'm like, okay, so we, we gotta stop and dismantle and examine that a little bit. I, first of all, yay you congrats for getting some wins. Congrats for getting some confidence up. I know that that's a battle in and of itself. Let's dial it back a little bit. Let's recognize that clients aren't dumb, especially if they've built a business that they can afford to pay to bring you in. Like they're doing something right. So that deserves some respect too. Like let's stop this whole, like, expertise needs to be respected. It does. And we can still be kind, appreciative, respectful human beings regardless of the level of expertise in the room. That's just me. Right.

Asha Rani (08:25):

You know, I think, and I think there is part of it is we are going through a shift where there's an old school way of, um, presenting yourself in a, in a quote professional environment mm-hmm. . Um, but there's been a dramatic shift that's been happening where we can still do the same thing and you don't have to put yourself up on a pedestal. Um, and that allows for a greater connection. So in so many ways, in every, in every, every um, job that there is, we need to let go of the mold that uh, people feel like we need to, you know, fit into. Yeah. Um, and break those, break those, um, break outta the box because once we break outta the box, oh my god, it's limitless.

Angie Colee (09:10):

Oh yeah. And I think that's a healthy approach all around too because I know that I've talked myself and several other people off the ledge that like when a layoff happens, when there's a business downturn, when you lose a client or something like that, in the old paradigm, in that mold, in that respect, my expertise, your identity, your worth is deeply tied to what you do. Exactly. Like you said at the beginning, and I've been on this bandwagon, it's only been a short amount of time cuz I'm still like divorcing myself from Silicon Valley hustling, grind culture. Right. But your work is not your worth. Right. Who you are is not what you do. And it's totally okay to like leave that behind, invent your own method of doing it, not fit into anybody else's box and still have a gleefully, joyous, rambunctious hell of a time helping people your own way. I love it.

Asha Rani (10:02):

Right. And I think, um, for me personally, how I was raised and my background has really changed my perspective and how I, um, interact with people. Um, you know, my parents came from I, India mm-hmm. . So born and raised. I was born and raised here by Indian immigrant parents, um, raised in co in the projects. I dunno if you know what that is, that's lower income housing. Mm-hmm. in New York City. Um, so that whole environment teaches you something about worth and self-worth. Mm-hmm. where you feel you stand, you know, um, when you're raised in that environment, you kind of think as a child I'm less than because you, as, as you start to grow up and you look around, you're like, oh, I don't have the same things that those guys do, and Oh, my building looks like the, so you start to, um, see the world differently.

Asha Rani (10:57):

Yeah. Um, and then as I, you know, was going to school and, you know, we're, you know, trying to get an education and now all of a sudden I have this doctor title mm-hmm. , um, and people have no idea of my background. Um, you know, I treat patients in the Bronx and those patients, many of them don't speak English very well. They don't have a lot of money. And I also treat patients in a practice in Manhattan mm-hmm. . So I have both, both, um, people from different economic backgrounds who are getting access to the same level of healthcare, which is me treating them as a doctor. And for me, that has been such a gift because growing up how I did, I wanted everyone to feel like you are worthy no matter where you were born and raised. Mm-hmm. you are, you have the right to every type of treatment that the next person does.

Angie Colee (11:53):

Amen. So,

Asha Rani (11:54):

So because of that, um, I use my, my childhood upbringing as a gift. Although at that time it didn't feel like, what's the gift?

Angie Colee (12:01):

Yes, totally understand that too.

Asha Rani (12:03):

You know. Um, so for me, that is where I'm able to bring in a different part of myself to what I do.

Angie Colee (12:11):

I love that. You know, of course it takes time and perspective to get to that gift that we get in the midst of challenge. And I didn't grow up in the projects, but I did grow up in a trailer park. So I have a little bit of, of the same sense of like, growing up around wealthier folks when you are a poorer kid. I, I remember once, I think I only talked about this once on the show before, but, uh, I think I was 17 at the time and one of my aunts had nominated my, you know, single working mom with three kids. And I was the eldest, uh, for like one of those Christmas families that that's in need, a needy family. And I remember being so excited because I'm a kid, right? Right. Somebody showed up with all of, and they did junk food for kids.

Angie Colee (12:57):

They didn't just show up with like, Hey, broccoli, eat your, eat your veggies. Kids, they probably could have, but it was like Oreos and goldfish and food and snacks and presents and stuff. And they had done presents for our age, like age appropriate presence. Mm-hmm. , uh, not treating a 17 year old like a kid was very important to a 17 year old girl. Right. And I remember that very conflicted feeling of, I'm happy, look at all this stuff that just showed up. My mom is not, and there are a lot of strong feelings around like, wow, I, you know, and there there's a lot of like cultural things there too. I've mentioned several times before, I'm from the south and there's already like weird cultural things about I can do it my self. I don't need any help. So. Right. Like, I, but I always remember that very powerfully because that's something that I want to be able to do for others, you know, to help them out of that bad spot because I know very deeply what it's like to be there. It's kind of a random tangent, but totally

Asha Rani (13:56):

who we are now is because of everything that's already, you know, that has happened for us. Um, yes. And when you are able to look at it eventually as, uh, with a new perspective, it's like you're like changing your past mm-hmm. because now you look at it with a whole new set of eyes and you understand why that happened, because now you're bringing that part, you're the best part of, of all of that into everything you do. Um, so I, I understand now why I'm in healthcare, why I wanna help people. It's greater than working in their mouth. And that goes, I'm sure with many people in everything that they do, there is something else that brings you in. And sometimes we're not aware of what that is until later. Mm-hmm. .

Angie Colee (14:40):

Oh yeah. I think the mission is really important and that a lot of times when we're struggling as entrepreneurs, it's because we've shifted into a me-centric mode versus a mission-centric mode. And, you know, when I talk about missions in business, I'm not necessarily talking about being an Elon Musk or, you know, one of those guys that's, we're gonna put in your space, your, your mission doesn't have to be that big. It could be helping this specific group of people in my very small local town. It could be helping all female entrepreneurs like, pick your flavor, pick your size, pick your location. It's all up to you. Right. You don't have to be a world changer necessarily in order to change some worlds though.

Asha Rani (15:21):


Angie Colee (15:21):


Asha Rani (15:22):

. Right, right. And then, you know, a lot of times before we start helping people, we have to help ourself. Mm-hmm. , you know, personal wellness I think is big. And I think five years ago when I felt like I was in a rut in terms of not having a spark that was bigger than just my job, you know, that was, I think just in every part of my life, when other things aren't really jiving, um mm-hmm. , and you, you can't really f you can't really point your finger at what is it that's not working. Everything just feels like it's not working. . Um, so personal wellness, uh, mental health is huge. Um, and I had to really take a pause and finally put myself as a priority. You know, I, I'm a mother of three kids, um mm-hmm. , and I had to really say, everybody holds up for a second.

Asha Rani (16:07):

Like, let me see. Yeah. Let me see me, let me feel me, let me do me. Um, and I think that is what it has allowed me to bring joy into things that I do. Mm-hmm. , but Biden, take that pause because the rat race of life that everybody is on, um, you stay in a cycle and you think this is life. Um, yep. And your, your awareness of what the possibilities are is not even there because you think that mm-hmm. what whatever it is you're doing, is it? Yes. And I knew that whatever I was doing was not it. And there was a discomfort in that. I'm like, if this is not it, then, then what do I do? Because this is a problem.

Angie Colee (16:46):

Yeah. I love that. And I, I've spoken to folks before about what I call alternate realities and how they're happening all around us because literally I can't see what's happening in your life and you can't see what's happening in mine. So that fact that there are so many people around us living different iterations of a life, we're ignorant to so many possibilities just by how, like, our brain can't process that much information. So if you don't know anybody that's doing anything differently, your worldview gets very limited to, well, these are the only possibilities. And I guess I'm picking the best one. Why do I still feel like crap? Probably because there's an option out there that you haven't seen yet. Right. And I won't pretend to have the answers as to how you go about, you know, cultivating that awareness and finding other realities. But I love that you said the fact that like, it got so uncomfortable and I knew that there had to be something else like discomfort, resistance, high levels of stress, I have started to understand are all signals. My brain, my body, my soul, whatever you wanna call it, is telling me something needs to change. There's something to pay attention to here, stop resisting me for the love of God, or I'm gonna start shutting down organs.

Asha Rani (17:54):

Right. Right. You know, but it also takes, but it takes, um, an awareness and it takes, um, you know, when you follow your intuition and you know mm-hmm. that something is not feeling right. But when you ignore it and then you keep doing what you're doing eventually, it's like, how many more red flags do you need? Um mm-hmm. before you hit rock bottom. Right. Uh, I ignored a lot of red flags and I just kept going along and going along because I looked around me and everybody was doing the same thing. So who am I to complain? You know, it's like being ungrateful. Mm-hmm. , you know, I have a beautiful home, a family, all of that. And when something inside was, you know, eventually I was like, okay, pause. Done. Um, and I, and I hope that people give themself that life's too short. Life is too short to think that you just have to keep doing, doing, doing. And you're not feeling through life and you're not present.

Angie Colee (18:51):

Yeah, absolutely. I've heard that described as as finding the, the balance between being and doing, which, especially in capital capitalist society, we have this pressure to just do, do, do achieve more and more and more. And you know, again, that worth is tied to the work, but if we can find ways to exactly like you are reconnecting with your body, your joy, your spirit, you're reconnecting with people that's being absolutely a hundred percent present. And I love that you also brought up, who am I to complain. Um, and I have a love-hate relationship with that because first of all, yes. Very brave thing to admit, especially in this day and age where people are quick to jump on the, well, I'm more miserable than that. What do you have to complain about? Look, we all have problems and your problems are valid and you don't get to out valid me just because you've got different problems.

Angie Colee (19:44):

That doesn't mean I am saying that yours don't exist. That doesn't mean that I'm saying mine or worse, or that like you have no right to suffer or like anything like that. But, but on that note, suffering is also a choice. Like, pain is going to happen, but suffering is something that we choose to do, whether consciously or unconsciously. Um, I think that ties closely to something else that you said about making yourself number one, which is something I think a lot of, especially women and mothers in entrepreneurship struggle with too. And to that I say, you don't have enough. Like there's no reason why you should not fit into your own life.

Asha Rani (20:24):


Angie Colee (20:24):

It's your life. You're the leading lady, you're the hero. This is your life. Why is it being lived for you? And you just come in as an afterthought. That frustrates me so much.

Asha Rani (20:34):

Yeah. You know, um, I think we also have to recognize, um, if we're talking about women in general, there are, there, there are patterns and societal norms that we follow mm-hmm. , we're raised a certain way. We've watched our moms, our grandmothers live life a certain way. So even if they don't say anything, we learn by just watching them. Yep. And then somewhere along the line, what, even though we think we're doing things different, we tend to then just kind of go back into that pattern. Mm-hmm. . So breaking, breaking those patterns for me was huge. Breaking ancestral, um, stories was huge. Um, and, and getting to the point where, yes, I have three children and yes, I have a career and yes, there's all these other things that I have to do. Um, I do have the right to live the life that I want. And absolutely the fear of judgment, I think for many people, holds them back and, and so many things in life. Mm-hmm. and that, that held me back. Um, I, I decided, and for me, this was the decision that was many years in the making, that it was time for me to step away from a 25 year relationship. Mm. Um, that was probably the most difficult decision that I've ever had to make because that was really breaking every rule.

Angie Colee (21:54):

Mm-hmm. of,

Asha Rani (21:55):

Of quote, what a successful life is supposed to be. Right. You know, and he gotta have

Angie Colee (22:01):

It all as a woman.

Asha Rani (22:02):

Right. Right. And there was no big story except for the fact that I felt like our partnership had come, you know, to a close mm-hmm. so people can grow together and then outgrow each other. And we are allowed to, to say, Hey, I love you as a friend, um, but maybe it's time for us to go in a different direction. And 25 years is not, is not what should keep you in something. Yes. You know, it's never too late to make a change no matter what it is. Uh, and I decided to make a change.

Angie Colee (22:34):

I'm glad you said that. It's never too late to make a change. And, you know, in economics and business we talk about sunk cost, which is exactly what you said. 25 years is not a reason to stay. Just whatever you have committed to something is not a reason to stick it out. If you have, you know, stepped back and looked and examined your own thoughts and your own motivation and your own feelings and your own goals, and you've decided this is no longer serving me. And that in and of itself is a really hard choice because most of us never want to admit something like that to ourselves. But yeah. Congrats. Congrats. Thank you. Putting that for yourself and breaking those norms. Um, I have , I haven't broken up with a partner I, I was broken up with before I started moving, but I am somebody who is, uh, middle-aged, I guess you could say, and has chosen not to have children. And so I get kind of a different kind of pressure of when are you gonna settle down? When are you gonna bring new life into the world? Don't you wanna have it all? And I'm like, I'm child enough for all of us. Like there really does not need to be enough , like a mini me in the world. No.

Asha Rani (23:40):

There should be no rule. There should be no rule. Like get rid of the rules. There should be no rule about what your successful life looks like. You Exactly. You, you get to connect your own dots. And I hope it gets to the point where everybody just is, um, aware that somebody else's journey is their journey. It has nothing to do with you.

Angie Colee (23:59):

Exa ah, yes. It has nothing to do with you. Ha does it impact your life at all? Most of the time somebody else's decision will not impact you whatsoever. So just let it go like the Disney song.

Asha Rani (24:13):

But what I will say is that if it does impact you and it triggers you, then reflect on what you're being triggered on. Mm-hmm. . Cause there's something there that needs to be looked at. Um, because if somebody's making a personal decision for their life and it is bothering you, yeah. There's something there that you might need some to, you know, need to work on. Um, yes. So is a gr it's a, it's a growing process for everybody.

Angie Colee (24:40):

It absolutely is. And that's why I find it interesting that so many folks who are drone drawn to entrepreneurship, to having their own business in whatever form also seem to be some of the biggest like self-improvement, self-development junkies I have ever met. Everybody has always got a therapist, a podcast, a book, something that you need to check out. Oh my God, this really helped me with this story that I had. So it was funny earlier that you talked about, um, a little bit about money and I wrote down this idea that I had cuz I, I recently uncovered a story that I had that I was not aware was there. And it was tied to what we talked about growing up poor. I was afraid of success because I was afraid that the people that I love the most, the folks that I grew up very poor around were going to change and, and assume that I had gotten too big for my britches, or if I become wealthy and I changed the paradigm, we're somehow gonna sabotage.

Angie Colee (25:38):

They're not gonna like me as a person anymore. I'm gonna lose everyone that I love if I dare step out of this box that I have, you know, helped put myself in from, from societal pressure. And so uncovering that was a real eyeopener because I was like, okay, okay, now I feel like I am prepared for this eventuality because building wealth is going to happen. That is, it's already in process. It's well down the road, yay us for breaking generational patterns. Right, right. Uh, and whatever somebody's reaction is to me achieving that, and again, exactly like you said, it has nothing to do with them. They're not even involved in that process except for being part of my life. If that's triggering them, I feel much better prepared to be like, well, I hear you. And it sounds like those are really strong feelings. And I'm also kind of a, like, curious, how does me doing this mean that for you? Can we talk about that? Because I love you and I wanna hear you out. And also this bothers me, .

Asha Rani (26:39):

Right. And that requires a very mature conversation mm-hmm. , which some people are able to have and some people are not. Yes. Um, and I, and I compare it to, it's like a dance, you know, it takes two people to do a dance. If one person changes the steps of the dance, it will force the other person to change the steps too. And they may not be ready. Yes. But them, them not being ready doesn't mean you stop dancing.

Angie Colee (27:06):


Asha Rani (27:07):

And so, oh, that's

Angie Colee (27:08):

Such a perfect analogy, .

Asha Rani (27:10):

And so that's where you decide, do you need a new partner or do we wanna work together mm-hmm. , you know, um, and I realized in my journey that I had to close the door on some relationships because um, they weren't ready. Yeah. And that's okay, that's your journey. Mm-hmm. . But, um, I need to keep moving forward. Yes. And so I hope, um, that part of, part of change and part of growth is also understanding that not everybody's meant to be there forever.

Angie Colee (27:41):

Mm-hmm. , they're

Asha Rani (27:43):

Absolutely, they're there as teachers for a certain amount of time and then you move on.

Angie Colee (27:47):

Yeah. And you've gotta ask yourself why you would want to maintain a relationship with someone who would rather you hold yourself back to make them comfortable than celebrate you when you go shine. I would rather have somebody that wants to be in my life because they know like, hell yeah. Being around Angie's gonna be fun. Like, we're gonna woo, we're gonna have some good meals, she's gonna take us on trips. Like, hell yeah. I spoil all the people around me. That's what I love doing. It's what brings me joy. It's why I work as hard as I do. Oh,

Asha Rani (28:14):

Can I go with you? Can I go with you? Hell yeah.

Angie Colee (28:16):

Hell yeah. I love that. And when I get back on the road, when I get back up to New York, I'm gonna have to let you know. But that's one of my favorite things to do when I'm out traveling is, you know, I'll tell people I'm in this area and I start getting pings. We should hang out here, we should go do this. They take me on these crazy adventures. We find these really interesting restaurants and we have so much fun together. And that is why I work as hard as I do, because I want the experience, I want the memories. That's all the stuff that I'm gonna be able to take with me to the end, not the actual like physical monetary stuff.

Asha Rani (28:49):

Right, right. It's living life, my God, to the best.

Angie Colee (28:53):

Mm-hmm. . And the, I think the funniest thing about that too is still that there are so many stories tied to like living your life and when you get to, and I think that ties back so perfectly to what we were talking about at the very beginning when you incorporated dance into your practice and just brought a whole lot of joy there that my, my life coach once challenged me on this because I was going down some rabbit hole about, you know, stressing out about not making enough money. And he's like, okay, so why did you get in business? And just keeps adding these questions until we eventually wind up and go, so, so what's the point of all this? What are you hoping to accomplish with this? To have enough money so that I have freedom and time to spend with the people that I love doing things that I love, having excellent food and amazing adventures. And he goes, cool. So aren't you doing that now? Right. Okay. Yes. Right.

Asha Rani (29:39):


Angie Colee (29:40):

You have a point. I'm already doing this. And that was my main goal. So why am I stressing out so much about the money? Like mm-hmm. , I've already got the end goal, the money will come. Right. I love refocusing like that.

Asha Rani (29:51):

Right. And you are, you are, you're able to recreate yourself as you do the same thing that you're doing. So mm-hmm. , it's a never ending process.

Angie Colee (30:00):

Yeah. I think, I think it's fantastic. So I wanna circle back to that since we, we got back to the dancing. What made you put these videos online and like, what was the response to that?

Asha Rani (30:13):

So this was during Covid, so mm-hmm. , um, you know, obviously many people were in a low place, um mm-hmm.

Asha Rani (30:22):

Making anybody laugh or smile for any reason. Um, is always good, but during Covid Yes. Um, you know, as we were laughing in the office, I was like, oh, we're laughing. This is fun. Let me just share this for my friends, you know? Mm-hmm. on Instagram. Mm-hmm. This was not like a dental Instagram. This was my personal Instagram mm-hmm. . And everybody's like, oh my God, that's so fun. That's so fun. And I was like, oh, that was fun. And one time we were doing it and a patient, it was just a staff, a patient happened to walk in on us doing a dance video mm-hmm. . And for a second I was like, oh my God, so unprofessional. Right. That thing we go back to that, this is so unprofessional. And he walked in and of course he has a mask on, but you can see when somebody's smiling mm-hmm.

Asha Rani (31:09):

and his eyes were like, oh. And then he said, he goes, what guys doing dancing? He was, I wanna dance. And then I grabbed him and we started dancing. Um, and then from that I realized how many people at home would just love to smile and just love to see mm-hmm. , what is going on out there? Um, and I, I wanted to show a part of dentistry that nobody ever sees. Mm-hmm. , it just happened, it just fell on my lap. I didn't know that this was gonna happen. And I started with their permission, I started sharing them. Um, and I could just feel everybody who was just messaging me like, oh my God, this is so great. I love watching that. It's 30 seconds, 30 seconds of smiling or feeling good about yourself, whatever it is. Um, why not?

Angie Colee (31:58):

Hell yes. I love that. And you know, to go back to what we talked about with suffering, being a choice, um, I just remember working on a passage in my book recently where I came across this. There, there's a book called Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. And if you haven't read it, highly recommend it. Go read it, read it once a year. But it, you know, at a high level it talks about, uh, finding joy in a concentration camp and arguably one of the worst possible experiences that any of us could have as human beings. Right. And that just further underscores the fact that like, there are little moments of joy, there are little smiles. No matter how miserable your situation is, you might have to dig for it, you might have to lean on others for support to get it. You might have to push yourself outta your comfort zone to find it, but it's there and we can choose with some work, right. To get out of that funk and to find our joy and our happiness again. And it ties in so brilliantly to I'm sure everybody's heard that Marianne Williamson quote by now about, uh, when you shine your light, you give others permission to shine theirs. I always picture somebody like a whole bunch of us standing in a room with candles. Yeah. Me using my candlelight to light yours makes the room brighter and it does nothing to diminish my shine.

Asha Rani (33:11):

There you go. That's it. That is it. We can

Angie Colee (33:14):

All light each other up. We can all bring little moments of joy even to something that on the surface doesn't seem like fun. Like getting your teeth operated on. All right. Hell yeah. Makes me wanna fly to, to, to . Of course nobody can see the video now, but I'm like, look at things I could probably use some help with fixing these crooked teeth

Asha Rani (33:30):

. Yeah. You know, um, but I did have to, um, pause a little bit initially, uh, cuz again, fear of judgment mm-hmm. , um, you know, to post something. You know, I didn't want to make light of the Covid pandemic because I knew there were many families who were dealing with, um, very serious issues. Um, so, you know, you always have to ask yourself what is the greater good mm-hmm. . And for me at that point, you know, if someone was going to take it like, oh my God, I can't believe she's taking this, this period of life so lightly, um, I couldn't carry that burden on myself because I knew there was a greater purpose. Yeah. So, um, you know, when you try to share, have some laughs in really mm-hmm. really deep, dark spaces, um, it's because it's needed. Yes. And you do it with compassion, not because you're doing it for any other reason. At

Angie Colee (34:23):

Some point you've just got to give up this idea that you're, you can please everybody and you've got to embrace what's really important to you while also realizing that no one person can do it all. It's exactly tied into that light. Light a spark, light a candle, make this room a little bit brighter. You know, Dr. Ashani and Angie aren't going to make all 8 billion people on the planet instantaneously joyful. And that's not our job either. And to put that pressure on ourselves is just, it's a recipe for like heart attack. Oh my gosh. But you can do your small part, you can brighten your little corner of the world and if somebody takes offense to that, that's, you know, you gotta let that be on them. You gotta let that go. And I always ask myself my reframe for that. When somebody doesn't like me or doesn't like what I'm doing is, well cool. I don't like you . I mean, we don't have to like each other

Asha Rani (35:20):


Angie Colee (35:21):

It doesn't mean I hate you. It doesn't mean I wish you well, but like, if you're not my favorite person, why do I give a what you think about what I'm doing? I don't care. Yeah.

Asha Rani (35:29):

Right. . Oh, I don't like you.

Angie Colee (35:31):

Let me introduce. Yeah. Lemme introduce you to somebody else. I don't like, maybe you'll like each other and you'll hit it off. It'll be fine. Fine.

Asha Rani (35:37):

You know what, what I have found for me, um, you know, I haven't had too many people to my face say that, that I don't like you, but I'm sure there aren't many people who think that, um, and you know, it's, oh, I don't like you. And for me the answer is thank you and you move forward. Yep. Because you just say thank you. They don't even know what to say.

Angie Colee (36:00):

. Yes. It's like a pause. They have no idea what to do with it.

Asha Rani (36:03):

It's silence. Right. Um, and you don't even wanna waste your energy mm-hmm. to, to say anything back. It's just not worth the time. It is important to speak up if it's a, you know, something that has to be said for the greater good. Otherwise you do you, God bless you, see you in the next lifetime. Or maybe not .

Angie Colee (36:24):

Absolutely. Treat it with a touch of humor. Her Right.

Asha Rani (36:28):


Angie Colee (36:29):

It with a touch of humor. , especially as Angie mispronouncing words, uh, a little detachments from whatever's going to happen. I have made the joke a couple times before that one of these days I'm gonna go viral cuz I'm gonna be in a public place where, you know, Karen's situation is going down and somebody is being chewed out. And I have already planned what I'm going to do when I see that, that is, I'm going to start screeching. I love you from Barney, I love you you love me, and trying to get everybody around me to screech it at them too. Like, sometimes you can only deal with crazy, with a little bit of crazy,

Asha Rani (37:04):

You're, you're actually killing them with love. So you know what? Do that. Yes. , you're killing them, but you're killing them with love. Mm-hmm.

Angie Colee (37:12):

, kill 'em with kindness. There we go. We're just gonna shriek childhood, uh, songs about being kind at each other until everybody's confused and nobody knows what to do and nobody has the energy to rage anymore. That's, that's the the thing. Well,

Asha Rani (37:26):

You know, you just said the key word. Childhood, you know, at what point, and I don't know, you know, this is just when you grow up, at what point does becoming adult have to be boring? Like Right. Did we forget like how to be a child? Like being, getting in, in touch with the things that you enjoyed as a child doesn't mean you're immature. Mm-hmm. , it means you're living in the magic and you're finding things that used to, um, you know, make you smile, makes you laugh, makes you look at the world in such a beautiful way. Um, we need to have that as adults. Absolutely. You know, so many parents, so many parents are so focused on these Mommy and me classes and gymnastics. I wanna put my child in this. I wanna put my child in that and all these extracurricular activities. And then they forget, wait, well how about you as an adult? Mm-hmm. , aren't you allowed to do these extracurricular activities? Is it just for the child? Oh yeah. So I think adults need to go back to connect to that inner child and bring that joy back. You don't have to be a boring adult, you can be work and play can be one.

Angie Colee (38:27):

Absolutely. And I think when you have done the work to figure out what you, what special thing you bring to the world, then your work becomes your play. Right. And that's kind of like the adult version of childhood. Right. Um, I, I loved traveling around the country and being able to visit places as a digital nomad because I had this fresh perspective and I, I just, my first stop was in New Orleans in 2021 where there was no Mardi Gras because we were, it was still pro-vaccine. Um, and I had this whole big list cuz I'm a writer. I researched and I was like, these are all the things I have to do. These are all the listicles. I went to one place and had such a great conversation with a local person in Covid times when people were encouraged to not talk to strangers.

Angie Colee (39:11):

Uh, and they were like, oh, you're new here. You need to go to this place. You need to go to the, no, forget your list. Go to these places, I'm telling you. And that sparked off two years of me just going to a place that someone else recommended. Yeah. Having an interesting conversation with a stranger, asking them what they recommended. They sent me off on another adventure. I meant a lama yoga. I've been in hot air balloons, I've done all, I went . There's this place called Meow Wolf in Santa Fe. I went face first into an interdimensional dryer. You'll understand it when you go to Meow Wolf, you should go. It's fun, . Uh, it's basically a giant slide concept, but

Asha Rani (39:46):


Angie Colee (39:47):

Yeah. J just being brave enough to be like I yes, I'm an adult and fun is still allowed. Whatever your definition of fun is, doesn't have to be faced for first down a weird slide. Uh, doesn't have to be a hot air balloon, especially if you're afraid of heights. But what do you like doing? What's fun for you? Go do more of that.

Asha Rani (40:04):

Yeah. Yeah. And you know what, and I, and that's where I knew five years ago that something was up when I did have free time mm-hmm. , uh, and I didn't know what to do. Like now that, you know, especially having three kids and you're so busy as they were getting older and I did have free time and I was like, wait, I don't even know what to do. I was like, this is, this is bad . Like when I don't even know what to do now that I can't make excuses anymore. , um, you know what I mean? Something, something had to change. Mm-hmm.

Angie Colee (40:36):

, there's always a reason not to do something. I'm fond of telling my coaching students that, uh, if you look hard enough, there will always be an excuse. So at some point what you have to do is start looking for the reason to do something and make those strong enough, you know, often referred to an entrepreneurship as your why. Yeah. Why is this important enough for me to focus on why is this important enough for me to prioritize? Uh, yeah, absolutely. Fun. Heaven forbid you actually like doing what you get paid to do. Right? Oh my gosh, what a brain buster.

Asha Rani (41:10):

And, and if you're running a business, um, and your, your staff members see you in that, that's the easiest way to keep staff members still working for you. Mm-hmm. because they're coming to work, they're, it's contagious. Yes. Um, yes. And financially you bring in more abundance. So in every way it, it, you have a successful, uh, professional career when you first tap into yourself, all of that will come, you know, in my office, you know, I have patients who send me their family because they're like, oh my God, we want them to see you. And so absolutely. When, when I'm so busy doing, you know, my surgery and my dancing, all of a sudden I have more patients coming in because they're like, oh, we trust her. We connect with her. So in any career, I think, um, you know, the end game of having a successful, uh, career, there's so many ways to get there.

Angie Colee (42:02):

Mm-hmm. . Absolutely. And I think the best way to embrace it, ex exactly as you said, being a hundred percent authentically you n neither of us is saying that you need to start dancing tomorrow. No , neither of us is saying that you need to take this, uh, show on the road and go be a digital nomad. Right. Look at the different versions of bliss and fun that each of us has found and use that as inspiration. You've got more time than you think and also you don't have as much time as you think. So this is really, really important, guys. Can't stress this enough. Have fun right

Asha Rani (42:37):

Here, guys. This is your one lifetime. Make it count.

Angie Colee (42:40):

Absolutely. I feel like that is the perfect way. Perfect Chef's kiss way to end this show. So tell us a little bit more about what you're up to, where we can find more information about you And I have a feeling that more people are gonna wanna, uh, like figure out how to book you for appointments now that they know a great dentist to go to

Asha Rani (42:57):

. So yes, I'm a dentist, uh, but I also recently wrote a book, I published a book last month. It's called Who is She? The Journey Beyond Being a Mother, wife, and Daughter. And it's where I talk about breaking societal norms and stepping out of the box as a female. Um, and then besides that, I do volunteer dental mission trips to Dominican Republic. I teach, um, implant training. So I'm a up up to a bunch of different things that just not just related to dentistry. Um, excellent. And you can, you can find me on Instagram at dr underscore Asha underscore Tooth Fairy. Um, and then you'll see what I'm up to.

Angie Colee (43:36):

. Excellent. I'm gonna make sure they have clickable links in all of the show notes. This has been so much fun. Thank you for joining me at the end of a very long podcast recording day. This was the perfect episode to end on. I appreciate you.

Asha Rani (43:48):

Thank you so much for having me.

Angie Colee (43:52):

That's all for now. If you wanna keep that Kick Ass energy high, please take a minute to share this episode with someone that might need a high octane dose. If you could do it, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the permission to Kick Ass podcast on Apple Podcast Spotify and wherever you stream your podcast. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and I'm here rooting for you. Thanks for listening and let's go Kick Ass some.