Permission to Kick Ass

20: Belinda Weaver

Episode Summary

Can we agree to call BS on anyone who brags about how easy the “laptop lifestyle” is? Maybe after years of working at it, you can get it to that point… but then you’ve got a whole NEW set of challenges. That’s what we’re talking about with today’s guest, Belinda “Bill” Weaver, who experienced this firsthand when she relocated from Australia to the US a month after having a baby.

Episode Notes

It’s funny how often parental status makes its way into business conversations. I think colleagues ask about my baby-making plans about as much as my grandma does. With family and business so deeply tied to our identities, how to you put it all into perspective? How do you find the balance? We talk about all this (and more) in today’s episode. Plus, BONUS: can you tell how many times we default to talking with our hands?

Can’t-Miss Moments From This Episode:

This one is jam-packed full of awesome. Don’t miss out - listen now!

 

Belinda’s Bio:

Belinda Weaver helps people write copy that makes them money. Whether it's teaching copywriters how to run successful businesses or business owners how to write more effective copy Belinda has courses, coaching and mentoring that builds skills and confidence.

But she wasn't always a copywriter. Belinda worked as a computer programmer, then in marketing before discovering copywriting was her jam. Since then, her business - Copywrite Matters - has not only survived but grown while she's moved between Australia, England and the USA, and had two kids.

She cohosts the popular copywriting podcast, Hot Copy with Kate Toon and is regularly featured in the media such as Copyblogger, Business Insider, Amy Porterfield's pod and The Copywriter Club.

An Aussie living in California with her pug, two daughters and husband (listed in order of neediness)... Belinda is obsessed with Doctor Who, English murder mysteries and making the perfect lemon curd.

Resources and links mentioned:

Come kick ass with me:

Episode Transcription

Angie Colee (00:02):

Welcome to permission to kick ass, a podcast about leaving self-doubt in the dust, punching fear in the face and taking bold action toward your biggest dreams. I'm Angie Colee, and let's get to it. Hello and welcome back to permission to kick today with me is my friend Belinda Weaver say hi.

Belinda Weaver (00:24):

Hello everyone.

Angie Colee (00:26):

Will you tell us a little bit about what you do?

Belinda Weaver (00:29):

Well, I'm a copywriter and copy coach and I have been in this biz since 2009. That's when I first registered my business, copyright matters during a lunch break at my day job. And I went full-time into 2010. And since then, I've just been, I guess, going through the various evolutions of my business. I've been working with clients one-on-one and then I moved from Australia to the States. And that forced me to think about how I was spending my time. And that's when I started creating a course called the copywriting masterclass. And since then, my business has really morphed into this copy coaching role, which I love love, love so much. So now I help other copywriters aspiring and working to have successful businesses that fit their lives and deliver more than money, which is something very important to me.

Angie Colee (01:23):

Mhmm, and I think that's amazing. Cause I've, I have people that know that I'm a copywriter too. And they ask if I teach copy and I'm like, no, but these people do. And you're one of the people that I recommend. Like I don't have any patience for teaching it. I do love coaching, copy myself, but like teaching someone from 101 levels is something I have no patience for. So I appreciate you coming in and do I know that that's a hard role to coach somebody through just the beginning stages of learning, how to get good at copy. So this is, they can't see me doing this, but, um, I'm doing the "we're not worthy" demonstration.

Belinda Weaver (01:57):

I'm glad because I'm glad you don't lock it because I love it. I really like helping people in the beginning stages of where they're at is one of my most favorite things to do. And I like to think of it, you know, you've got, and no one can see me doing this. You've got that triangle of, of impact. And when I love impacting someone at the very beginning, because it can have huge benefits later on.

Angie Colee (02:23):

Yeah. That's such a good thing too. And I mean, that's just further proof that I I've never really well. No, that's a lie at the beginning of my career. I thought I was in competition with all the copywriters. It's like, there's like this tight little pool of jobs and we're all competing for them. And so you're my enemy. And I've come to understand that that is the furthest thing from the truth. The further I've gone in my career and all of my former competitors are now colleagues. And this is exactly why, because like we both teach copywriters, you teach them from the beginning all the way through to where I pick up. And I specialize in this like narrow little area of they've a certain level of experience and I'm going to take them to that very next level. And there's still more than enough business for all of us to operate in this space. And I think that's fantastic. So we were talking a little bit before we got on the call and I love your background story. You mentioned it briefly when you were telling us about yourself, but having to move to the United States and then reassess how your business was going and, and completely restructured. Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that?

Belinda Weaver (03:25):

Yeah. So 2013 was the year and my husband hadn't, he'd been out of work for a little while. It was when Australian economy wasn't doing that. Great. And he actually had an old colleague go come to San Francisco, we're hiring. And so we had this very big conversation about moving to the U S and neither of us had ever been to the U S and we had moved from Australia to the UK and then back home to Australia to a different part. So the idea of an international move while there's a lot of parts to it, wasn't soul crushing to me. I was like, all right, well, we've done that before. I can do that again. But the U S had never been on my radar, but we have always operated under the principle of regretting what we do, not what we haven't done. And so basically when we were having this conversation about what about the USA?

Belinda Weaver (04:21):

We couldn't think of a good reason. Why not? That wasn't fear-based so we were like, all right, let's do that. Then of course, by the time we actually got to moving, I was eight months pregnant. So I was like, yeah, no, that's not gonna happen now because I'm not going to, yeah. I'm not going to a new country without any support network and having my first baby. Um, so we ended up moving a month after she was born. So had the baby packing up the house, moved to the U S after a month. So I had a newborn in a new country and just had to kind of pick everything up from there. And now the good news is that I didn't have to quit a job. I didn't have to find a job. I just had to close my laptop and open it up again. Doesn't that sound so straightforward? All I had to do was, but of course, what I had to manage was time zones, deadlines, newborn, baby, my first baby, and the expectation that I put on myself that I could do it all. And I didn't need anyone to help me, which is good because I didn't have anyone to help. Um, but

Angie Colee (05:35):

Sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt. So I feel like that's a trap that a lot of entrepreneurs get sucked into. Like I have to do it all. Or like, I don't know. I have to figure out a certain amount of it by myself and get this specific set of credentials before people will take me seriously. And I'm so glad that you actually said that because most of us go through this phase and then ultimately figure out, "what was I thinking? I need help somebody."

Belinda Weaver (05:58):

I know. And it's just this internal idea that someone's going to give us a parade or some gold stars or shiny laminated certificate. If we do it all and we don't ask for help and it's just BS. So that was a big learning experience for me. Um, but that's also the time when I went, Oh, actually managing all those things, time zones, deadlines, trying to write in nap times and work in the evenings and be present for the baby. Um, it just wasn't working for me at all because the whole reason I started my business was to have this family friendly career. And I was doing exactly the opposite. I felt guilty when I was with her because I wasn't working. And I was thinking about work. And then when I was working, I wasn't focused because I was guilty about working and it was just this terrible cycle. So that's when I was like, I needed to make some changes in how I run my business.

Angie Colee (06:56):

I think that's so fantastic. And you've said so many great things, like just circling back to throwing a parade and getting gold stars. I kind of want to buy like a sticker sheet of gold stars and just hand them sarcastically to people that come to me and like, look at what everything I've done on my own. Here you go, gold star right on your forehead, but yeah, you don't get brownie points or a trophy for getting to the end and being like, "I got here by myself. Fuck all you people. I didn't need you." I'm sorry. Welcome to business. You have to work with other human beings. Uh, that's just the way it works.

Belinda Weaver (07:32):

If you choose the right humans, they can actually shortcut the whole journey and make it more fun and more interesting and get you there faster.

Angie Colee (07:39):

Absolutely. I think it's interesting that you mentioned that too. Cause I, I briefly touched on at the beginning of my career, I was in with these folks that taught me to think like, keep things close to the vest because I'm in competition with everybody. And because there was so much info hoarding, my growth was incredibly slow. And then when I met people, like you said, that encouraged me to be open and we are collaborating. We're not competing. And I started sharing what I know without expectation of like, you will pay me before I say anything. And I will just sit here with my arms crossed and wait for you to pay me. People don't really like that. Uh, just, just to hint, if that's how you operate, people don't really like that. Uh, don't do that. It's not good business. Um, I started sharing what I know, which incidentally gives people a hint of what it's like to work with you when you freely share some information. And then that was when things just like took off and I got more opportunity. It was great. Um, so you were okay. You told us a little bit about the move acclimating with a newborn, realizing that you were struggling a little bit with this work-life balance, which we're always the mythical dream that we're all chasing. Um, tell us a little bit about what it was like settling in once you got here.

Belinda Weaver (08:57):

That was, it was tough, but it wasn't tough in the moment. It was tough as it rolled out over months because we had a nice apartment. I never lived in an apartment before. It felt like I was living in a resort. I had this lovely baby. I had my pug Fenris and my husband was with me. And I was like, we're exploring, except I couldn't drive on the wrong side of the road. I didn't know where the shops were. And I had no friends and family. So I basically didn't leave the apartment for a while. But then I made the realization that I had to, I had to leave the apartment. I had to figure out how to drive. I had to make some connections. Um, and that's when the cracks started to show for me. Because something I mentioned to you is that when you show up with a baby, people are only really interested in your baby or your status as a mother.

Belinda Weaver (09:49):

And so I had left Australia where I was going, I was actually running regular networking events. I was talking about my business a lot. I was being interviewed, you know, I felt I was really gaining some momentum and it, to a certain point, it felt like all I did was talk about work. And then I got to the us. And all I did was talk about my baby, whether she was sleeping, how she was feeding and even to the point where people rarely even asked me how I was doing. And no one asked me what I did for work for two years, that's horrible. It was, it was a big, it was a confronting situation because I found it difficult to shoe horn my work into the conversation. Um, and it was a huge part of my identity. And so I found that very difficult. And of course, once I made some really good friends, it actually became less important because we had fun things to talk about that weren't kids work. So that's the dream state, but I found that really difficult. I, it was a bit of an identity crisis because I'm like, is this, is this all I am. I am the wife of my husband. So that was one group of people we were working with and I am the mother of the baby. And that is the other group. And it was tough. I lost a lot of confidence.

Angie Colee (11:13):

I hear you on that. And I know this is a struggle that I hear from a lot of working mothers, a lot of business owners in particular. And you know, I sometimes I wonder if it's the plight of women, I'm going to get a tiny bit feminist soap box here. But you know, I have the opposite problem because I don't have children. And a lot of the conversation winds up, like, when are you going to settle down? When are you going to have a family? And I'm like, I don't really have plans to do any of that. But thanks for your concern. Let's talk about my business. That's a shoe. It has a womb. Yes. It's like this extra, I don't know, family pressure one way or the other, you know, whether you're a mother, whether you're not, if you're a woman in business, like you're expected to have this other layer where you want to have it all, like you said, run this business, have the family achieve all of the things, just because I want the trophy that they're not going to give me.

Belinda Weaver (12:03):

Um, and you know, meanwhile, while no one's asking me about my work, I'm working like a dog I'm working in nap times. I'm staying up late, I'm getting up early. So I feel like I'm working very, very hard for no gold stars, no recognition, no one's noticing. And you know, I say that because we like people to notice when we're working hard, but you know, and that's a big mindset block, but yeah, it was a really, it was a really tough situation where I didn't know who big idea. I didn't really know who I was. And it's very hard to introduce yourself to new people when you're not feeling very confident about your identity. So I was Ozzy in the U S new mum, no one asked me about my work and that was my entire life before them. So it's very hard to go. This is who I am, which is interesting because

Angie Colee (12:57):

As these days, like all of those things and more are the reasons that I adore you and think you're fantastic. And we'll introduce you to people in a heartbeat, but it's really hard when you're kind of in the thick of it, to see those things as assets and as strengths versus something that's holding you back. Would you, do you think that that's true?

Belinda Weaver (13:17):

Absolutely. And the thing is, I've only had the big realizations about my work and not just about my work, but myself looking back. So in the moment it feels like no one is looking and no one is seeing me, my whole self who I am. And then I've started telling myself a story that I am not being seen at all. And this is another big idea, but this is just the story I was telling myself. And then I would recently this happened quite recently. I got feedback from my friends, cause like I kind of went, I'm really struggling with this idea. And then we're like, are you kidding? Are you kidding with this? We see all of you. And they would just, I needed the people around me to give me that reality check because I was getting stuck in my own head about the impact of my work, the journey of my life, the connections that I was making with people. And so that, that was a really important reality check, but I've only had those reality checks when I've kind of started coming through it and I've turned to people who can tell me what I need to hear. Yeah.

Angie Colee (14:46):

You said so many good things there, but it was interesting that you talked getting out of your own head. Cause I think that's the root of a lot of problems, especially, you know, I'm not gonna proclaim to be a therapist or understand the depths of, you know, mental illness or depression or struggle or anything. But I think a lot of the root of that can be traced down to getting into our own heads and not really stepping out to get perspective for fear of being judged. I mean, it makes sense that you don't want to reach out because you're afraid of rejection or you're afraid of judgment. But then when you talked about this trusted circle of friends, going to them saying, here's where I'm struggling and having them going, wait, are you kidding? Like, Oh my God, we love you. Let me tell you all this. I I've long joked about with my coaching students. I've called that looking in the loving mirror, like remembering that there are people out there that give a damn about you and they can see the things that are great about you, where you might be just very narrow, like tunnel vision focused on all of these flaws and these things that are not in your favor. Um,

Belinda Weaver (15:47):

yeah. And just, we need that for a bit for our business as well. We need people and it's not about blowing. Having people that'll blow, smoke up our ass. It's about people who remind us that we are doing good work and that we are doing our best and that there are lots of qualities that we have that other people love. And the reason they are drawn to us, that we might not value as much as other people. So it's important to have those people who will lift you up when you need to be lifted because in our own head, we look past that so easily because we don't believe it. We look for the proof of what's not working, not for what's working. Yeah.

Angie Colee (16:29):

And my, and my loving mirror doesn't have Instagram filters on it guys. Like I'm not trying to fool myself looking into that and be like, just tell me that the Sun shines out of my behind and everything will be sunshine and roses. Like these are some of the most blunt, realistic, loving, caring people that I have ever met in my life. And they'll be like, eh, sounds like a little bit of bullshit to me, Angie, you may want to rethink that approach.

Belinda Weaver (16:56):

Yes. And that's what we need. Those people who go stop having a pity party because this is not true. So start looking for the proof that you need to keep moving forward and keep doing the work that you're good at.

Angie Colee (17:13):

And I'm so glad that you phrased it as a story because that was kind of the aha moment for me too. Like, this is a story that I'm telling myself, it's not necessarily the truth with a capital T you know, like it's just, I've fixated on this story from somewhere. Whether it was like a conversation with a Dick head at a conference that made an assumption about me as a female in business. Um, or, you know, it's a movie that I saw with a particularly weird plot that it just like seated itself in my brain and made me think that I'm somehow less than those things. Just, I don't know that they're like the evil version of an ear worm. I can handle a song I'm getting stuck in my head, but these stories getting stuck in my head. Grr

Belinda Weaver (17:55):

Yes. And it's, it's one of the ongoing journeys of being a business owner because, and this is something we talked about just before. There is no point where you get to a level, like when you're starting out, you're like, Oh man, all these people are so successful. They must have it in must be easier because they're earning more and they must have so much time off because they're so successful, all that. And it's not true at all Each time Your business steps up to where you want to progress to in that journey, there is a new set of challenges, a new set of mindset, things that we need to overcome. And I don't mean to say that because it's like, it's all just shit. I Mean that because no one, you don't get to a point where you suddenly get all the things. And this is something I love to talk about with my members is if you want more time and you want more freedom and you want more choice, you have to bake that into your business now because when you get more, more clients, more projects, more money, more followers, more of all the things you don't get more time unless your systems and processes have those boundaries in place.

Angie Colee (19:07):

Yeah. I think I had an aha moment to that effect one day too, while I was sitting down and I was talking to my mastermind group and they, they asked a simple question that really just threw me for a loop cause I had never thought about it. Um, and I heard this one from Dean Jackson. Who's another copywriter and marketing expert. Um, I'm sure you know, he's very smart dude. And he said, if you had a $50,000 a month trust fund, what would you do with your time and outside of work, you know, to, to bring it back to identity that we were talking about earlier. I had no idea what I would do with my day. Like cause uh, binge watching Netflix is going to get old, real, freaking quick. Um, you know, focusing on any one hobby or pursuit is going to get really old really quick.

Angie Colee (19:51):

So it's like, what do you do with your life? If all of your dreams suddenly came true tomorrow? What do you do with your time? If you haven't spent any serious time thinking about that you might want to, because it could really help you reach the next level in your business. What I discovered from thinking about that question was I really wanted a long indulgent, luxurious morning routine. Like just wanted to take my time getting out of bed, putz around the house. Maybe do some dishes, have some coffee stare out the window for like half an hour, doing nothing, do some journaling, do some writing and like stroll to the computer around nine or 10. And that was my ideal morning. And I realized that I had been waiting until like I crossed the finish line into happy land. And then I will have earned that long, luxurious morning routine,

Belinda Weaver (20:40):

Not true! What not have it now?

Angie Colee (20:43):

And I do have it now. And it was not even reality that I knew could be possible for me until somebody introduced that concept that you were talking about, like you have to bake it in now. It's not something that you're working really hard right now to earn later start doing it now. So you can figure out how to build your business around those things that you want, this lifestyle that you want.

Belinda Weaver (21:05):

Yes, that's right. And then, you know, and when speaking of hobbies, when no one asks you about your work, but you've got nothing else in your life, you've got nothing else to talk about. And that's, that was another rude awakening. Um, and you know, my husband, when we moved here, he took up disc golf and he bloody loves it. And I was like, man, you have something you really enjoy doing that. You can't wait to do that is completely outside of your life as a dad and, and a worker I'm jealous, I need a hobby, I need a hobby. That's only been a realization I've had quite recently.

Angie Colee (21:41):

That's especially important for creative people because there's a lot of creative entrepreneurs that listen to this podcast that writers artists, photographers, bakers. My mom is a Baker and that was fantastic. Um, and musicians, if you don't have something that you're doing regularly to recharge the well, you're going to run out of ideas and hit a wall very, very quickly. And then it's hard to become to come back from that. Uh, you know, it's often referred to as burnout, like when you hit the end of your capabilities and you haven't done anything to add new ideas into the machine, it's really, really disheartening. Yeah.

Belinda Weaver (22:17):

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, when you're meeting people in your professional network or in your personal network, it's nice to be an interesting person. And so we need other things beyond the work, which we all love and are passionate about. Like, I really love what I do, but that's the trap is I could do it all the time, but I need to be able to do other things.

Angie Colee (22:43):

Th that's it's interesting. You bring that up too, because I think all of us, uh, in the freelance writing arena have kind of made fun of the work from anywhere at any time trope that you hear, you know, on, on some of the more douchebaggy get rich quick sites. Um, and I know, I don't know about you, but I always joked that like work from anywhere at any time was work from everywhere all the time, because you are not setting any boundaries. Look, when I go to the beach, I'm not bringing my laptop. It's just, it's not happening. I'm there to sit in the sand and listen to the waves and that's it. We're not working now. Um, having boundaries around something like I fallen into that workaholic trap too. Like I love what I do. I could talk about writing all day long. I could figure out these campaigns all day long. And then when I did it all day long and didn't have a life I would burn out. So how do you burn out from doing something that you love that still blows my mind, but it's totally possible.

Belinda Weaver (23:40):

Yeah. And it's something that really hit home for me in 2020 in like I'm my life in lockdown. Actually. Wasn't very different to my life before lockdown because my kids are quite young. So I'm working around time, confetti leftover by the needs of other people. And what, when lock down hit, it really became apparent that I had very little sense of boundary and it was exacerbated by everyone being home all the time. And so 2020, interestingly enough, 2020 is the year I started putting boundaries in when I started, um, stopping, working, having no work phones and trying harder to push back on the things that I didn't want to be a long-term habit and say yes to the things that I wanted to make time for. But you know, going back to that point, it's still only recent for me, it's an ongoing challenge and an ongoing journey.

Angie Colee (24:45):

And you, You slide back. Like I we've been around, you know, in this industry probably around the same amount of time. And I find myself going back to the beginning of learning these beginning love lessons, like over and over and over again. Cause I'll get to a certain point and I forget it, it falls off my radar. I let boundaries slip and I'm like, right, I know this. I have to get a refresher every once in a while. It seems to be able to maintain those really strong boundaries and not fall back into workaholism.

Belinda Weaver (25:14):

Yeah, exactly. And I think just the self-awareness is the key thing, but also being prepared to try and fail and keep trying like this systems and processes and boundaries and time management and goals that it's all muscles and like writing copy. We learn it, we practice it. We get better. We don't just wake up with it all handed to us. And that's the awareness to realize when you're slipping to try and reboot it and to suck as well. Yeah.

Angie Colee (25:47):

Well, you're going to suck guys, uh, spoiler alert, shitting on your parade. We went right past raining, right into on shitting on the parade. You're going to fail, but failure is an event that happens to all of us. Join the club. We should have jackets and go bowling together when the lockdowns are all lifted, but like we've all been there. We've all failed spectacularly. And somehow still manage to pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. And that's all this game is like, stay in the game until you can figure out how to win it. And then keep moving.

Belinda Weaver (26:17):

Last woman standing. But that's, you know, it's a cliche, it sounds like a cliche to go. When you fail, you learn and you've got to do all that kind of stuff. And it sounds really glib to say, but there's that moment where you feel afraid when you're worried that something's not going to work when you're worried, what people are going to say. And for me, going back to me, moving to the States, I had to suddenly I was in a different zone. I had a completely different group of copywriters that I wanted to make friends with and set up a new professional network. And there's a whole lot of baggage that comes with, are they going to like me? Are they going to think I'm any good, what am I even doing here? These people are awesome. And in that moment, so many people pull back into safety because that's our instinct. Every fiber of our being is going, don't

Angie Colee (27:07):

Launch it. It's not kind of work, protect yourself. That's right.

Belinda Weaver (27:13):

But if you can keep inching forward through that terror, the good stuff is on the other side. Even if it's a whole lot of learning because it didn't work

Angie Colee (27:24):

And odds are, if you have been studying, if you've been practicing, even if you're not the best with, you know, Capital TB, the best, uh, odds are you're much better than you give yourself credit for. And just the act of putting yourself out there is going to set you toward the path of becoming as good as you want to be. Like, not everybody has to be the best. I certainly like look, the one person that gets to occupy the best out of 8 billion people on the planet has to work really, really hard to stay on that podium. And I am lazy. I don't want it that bad. I'm good being one of the best.

Belinda Weaver (28:05):

I'm good being. I'm trying to be my best every single day. I'm trying to be the best I can be another, you know, put it on a t-shirt, but I've also found that in terms of my marketing and attracting copywriters to the kind of coaching that I offer it's in, I don't like to share my failures while I'm in the middle of it. You know, there's that idea of sharing the lessons from the scar. Not while you've got a big open wound, but I, if I, when I stopped trying to be perfect and stopped focusing on the PR image of my business and I just chilled out a little bit and went, Hey, I'm figuring this out too. The message got more buzzword authentic. And everyone chilled out a little bit around me. I was like, yeah, cool. I don't have all the answers, but I'm figuring it out too. And I am happy to shortcut your journey with what I'm learning a couple of steps at the head.

Angie Colee (29:01):

That's so perfect too. Cause I felt like when I was making that transition from the, all of the copywriters are competitors to all of these people are colleagues, I still had that kind of the pro quote unquote mask on too, where it was, you know, wearing like caked on makeup, this, because this is professional and spending a lot of time doing my hair just so because right. Uh, they don't care about the brain power behind the face. I'm sure that they, you know, if I could just mash my face into a piece of paper and make it a winning promo, then all of that effort putting on makeup would've been worth it somehow. It didn't actually help me though. When I let it slip one day, I can't even remember. I think it was some zoom meeting or training or something and somebody got brave and put me on camera. And I just like, got really ranty about something. All of a sudden I let an F bomb slip. And like, I think I might've revealed that I had a rock band and tattoos. And suddenly people were like, I didn't know this about you. Tell me more. And it was like by revealing the real person, instead of trying to be this perfect business person that was when people were like, Oh, you're a human. I like working with humans. This is great. Thank you for not being a robot. I'm also not a robot. Let's work together.

Belinda Weaver (30:15):

Yes. And the same, like for me, when I stopped trying to have the perfect Instagram profile and with all the pretty canva stuff, and I'm like, I'm going to focus on the message and that's more important. And having people that land with people, I was like, Oh yeah, you, same. I don't need to have makeup on all the time. My hair doesn't have to be perfect because people are listening to what I have to say, but there's a lot of makeup wearing days that I've had to do to build up the confidence that it's not the lipstick, it's a world. And that's a big part of what we're doing in our marketing. Especially as women, as business owners, we get fixated on details that seem really important because we're not confident in the core of who we are and what are these we've got to say. So it's easier to focus on the Canva templates.

Angie Colee (31:08):

Oh, that's, that's so important too. Cause I know I had like a mini meltdown just a few weeks ago because there are all of these amazing expert coaches out there, women coaches that are building fantastic businesses and they're helping a lot of people, they're doing a lot of good in the world and they also have these amazing professionally styled, professionally lit headshots. And like I had a meltdown with my life coach cause I was like, I don't have any of that. Who is going to take me seriously because I don't have a headshot. And so he gave me this exercise, which I really love. Um, I am willing to practice. So like I don't have to attach to an outcome. I don't have to set a goal where I'm a failure if I don't hit this goal. But like I am willing to practice showing others that they don't have to fit some sort of conventional mold to achieve success. And so I continue to showing up in my Disney nerd hoodie with my wild hair and, and knowing that the passion and the conviction and the things I have to share matter a little bit more to me, at least compared to, you know, the professional makeup. And that's not to say that I'm putting that down in any regard, I have nothing but respect for the women that make themselves look so fantastic. I'm jealous of the skills quite frankly.

Belinda Weaver (32:22):

And just like on, on that, I joked because I I've got red lipstick on for this chat. The video is not going out, but it makes me feel a little bit braver and it makes me feel a little more confident. So do the things that make you feel confident enough to trust that what you've got to say is important.

Angie Colee (32:43):

Mhmm even if it's something symbolic like that, like red lipstick, Ooh, I'm feisty. I don't know. I'm just making it up. But like when I put on red lipstick, it's definitely like, I am here pay attention to me.

Belinda Weaver (32:54):

Yes.

Angie Colee (32:54):

I have things to say, look at the map.

Belinda Weaver (33:00):

I never thought about it like that, but that's exactly true. And that's okay. I need to beat ourselves up about the little things that we do to bolster our confident confidence, as long as we're doing our best to get there and not getting distracted with this idea of perfection.

Angie Colee (33:16):

Yeah. And what feels authentic and good to you, you know, to serve, to circle all the way back around to the beginning where you're telling your story, you is good enough. You as fascinating, you don't have to hide the you-ness, uh, and be somebody else to get those friends, to get those colleagues, to get that respect. Like the thing that you're thinking is different about you might just be the thing that people love about you.

Belinda Weaver (33:40):

Yes, absolutely. But sometimes we need that little reminder every day or every week to stop telling ourselves a different story.

Angie Colee (33:48):

Mhmm get those stories out of your head. Tell a better story, better yet. Tell a story where you're you're the hero. Um, and they are throwing parades and giving you gold stars for all of your work. I heard that story, right. Actually like in happy lands, having a grand old time instead of being stuck in misery.

Belinda Weaver (34:08):

Yeah, that's right. And that's, you know, that's just about enjoying the journey, enjoying the journey every day is something I'm really leaning into in the last couple of years where if I want more time, I've got to make more time for myself. I got to stop work. I got to do things that I love because no one's going to come up and give me those things. I want to have more fun every day doing what I love to do, but I'm the one that has to make that happen.

Angie Colee (34:32):

Yeah. And there's, there's even a balance with that too. Cause like I'm, I'm traveling full-time and I decided in the wake of a breakup that I was going to go explore these cities and have adventures. And I think like the second or third city that I got to, I started beating myself up pretty hardcore for not adventuring enough because people were reaching out to me going like, Hey, what have you been doing lately? I'm kind of living vicariously through you go adventure more. And so now this trip is about finding where my boundaries are. Like how much is enough adventuring for me? Is it okay for me to stay home and be a homebody, even though I'm on this grand adventure answer is yes, I can totally binge watch Netflix still, even though I'm out, supposedly having these adventures, um, and the balance looks different for everybody. Like don't let somebody else's idea of balance, pursue it, see if it's right for you. If it sounds like a good idea, but don't let that control what you set out to achieve. I think.

Belinda Weaver (35:31):

Absolutely. Which is also the trap of you're a superwoman. It's a compliment. Yes. But it's also a trap because I don't want to have to live up to that idea. Exactly. So I'm kind of regularly turning to the people who love me daily and trying to lift me up and I'm like, don't use that word because it's too much the expectation and pressure that I then put on myself is too much. Yeah. That I think brings circles back to the entire point that this podcast even exists and why it's such a labor of love for me, which is you don't have to be perfect. Just do the thing and see what happens and be okay with being okay. Um, and the perfection and the mastery comes from the doing and the failing and the learning and the keeping ongoing. Ooh, this is so good.

Belinda Weaver (36:26):

I'm a hundred percent. I'm just nodding of going. Yes. Yeah.

Angie Colee (36:29):

It's almost a shame. We're not releasing the video. Cause both of us were like gesturing wildly in the background like,

Belinda Weaver (36:36):

Oh, this is such an amazing talk.

Angie Colee (36:38):

I could talk to you all day. We're going to do a followup that's for sure. Uh, but for right now, tell us more about where we can alert about you and your programs.

Belinda Weaver (36:47):

Oh, well thank you for asking. So as a coffee coach, I have a copywriting course, which is called the copywriting master class. And that is for copywriters who are in their early stages or they want to become copywriters. It's all about the foundation of writing. And I also have a membership called confident copywriting, which is where I dig in to the marketing, the money, the mindset, the business admin, all that kind of stuff about running businesses.

Belinda Weaver (37:15):

And it's basically to help you start becoming a copywriter and enjoy the journey and create a business that delivers you more than money, but money as well. And my website is copywritematters.com and that's where there is lots of stuff because like you, Angie, I like giving lots of helpful advice away. So there's plenty to dig into. And if anyone would like to reach out to me, I would love that because I'm one of those people that responds to all their emails and responds to all the DMs. They track me down on social media and I would love to chat.

Angie Colee (37:48):

same, same. All right. Thank you so much for being on the show. This has been amazing. And I will talk to you soon.

Belinda Weaver (37:55):

Yes, I can't wait.

Angie Colee (37:59):

So that is it another awesome episode of permission to kick ass on the books. If you want to know more about the show, if you want to know more about me, Angie Colee and the mission I'm on to help entrepreneurs punch fear in the face and do big bold things, then head on over to permission to kick ass.com. That is all one word together, permission to kick ass.com, make sure to sign up for my email list so that, you know, whenever there's a hot, fresh and ready podcast episode out for you. And also on Mondays, I like to send out a little newsletter called kick Mondays ass I'm sure you're totally, totally surprised by that. So thank you for being here with me today. I'm Angie Colee. Make sure that you share this with a friend that needs to hear this message today. Like it, share it. Comment wherever you're listening to this today and let's go kick some ass